Do you coerce or nudge creativity?

Questions for when you are in the midst of doubt

Cleaning the studio always brings me a sense of productivity without the pressure. 

I started looking through my stuff. First I cleaned all my watercolour sets and palettes. I left them shiny and white. 

Then I pulled out my coloured pencils. I’m sure we all go into an Art Supplies shop and leave at least with one colour pencil, just for the “possibility” of it.

And I took inventory of my creative response. 

Fear crept in first. I wanted to draw but I was afraid of the inevitable mush and rubbish that was going to come out of my hand because I hadn’t done anything in a while. Then discouragement and the thought I would never make art again. 

I couldn’t remember what my process for watercolour was. I know I’ve tried all the techniques and I knew at one point I had found a way to use them that felt mine but I couldn’t remember the process. So I grabbed a sheet of mixed media paper and I started to put paint down.

The result was disastrous. It was almost like I’d never painted with watercolours before. I worked on it for a long time, recalling my philosophy of going on until it turned a corner. But it didn’t. I was horrified. 

I left it there on the table to see if the next day it would look better but obviously it was still a mess. I threw it in the bin. I put away all my cleaned-up palettes.

I haven’t touched them since. 

Out comes the journal.

I thought I’d share some of the questions that I’ve been asking myself lately and maybe you want to grab a journal and answer them for yourself.